What Would You Do Friday?

He had big brown eyes, mocha skin and an infectious smile. He had his own money, transportation and a house! He took me shopping, bought me breakfast, lunch and dinner and filled my car up without asking anything in return! I called him Mr. Right! Although he was a little clingy and sometimes said crazy things, he was a lot of fun! We had deep conversations and he wasn’t afraid to show his feelings. (I love a man who isn’t afraid to let a woman see him cry). I kept asking myself, “Does this guy ever do anything wrong?” I even let him meet my mother and after one conversation she said, “He has issues, you need to leave him alone.” (What does she know, she says that about everybody I bring home.) After a month or so I realized that I really wasn’t that interested in him, and as much as I wanted to prove my Mother wrong, I decided to do the right thing and let him know that I’d rather be friends. I tried telling him on the phone but he acted as if he didn’t hear me. I sent him a long text and he ignored it. I tried ignoring his phone calls but that didn’t work either. I figured if I told him in person he would finally understand, so I told him to meet me at a nicely lit store with lots of people around. He agreed and as I was shopping I told him, “You’re a nice guy, I enjoy your company, but I’m just really not interested in a relationship right now” and what happened next I was totally unprepared for.!! He dropped to his knees, holding my waist in what felt like a head lock!! He looked up at me and started CRYING in the middle of the store in front of everybody!!! I was mortified! As people walked by looking at me, I discreetly begged him to get off the floor and stop crying. People were walking by looking at us like we were crazy as hell! The guy at the register asked if everything was all right, I quickly responded “Yes” with a forced smile on my face. Mr. Right yelled” NO, everything is not alright, I wanna be with you!!!” I was shocked; all of a sudden Mr. Right did not feel so right anymore! I was in the middle of the store with a grown ass man hanging onto my leg, sobbing….....

Please post all comments below. Your feedback and support is greatly appreciated. SN: Fellas please put your self in the situation. We would love some male perspectives.

Stories From The Pages of Our Lives: A Tragic Fairytale

Happy Thursday Everyone! One of our loyal reader's has decided to give her testimony, which touches on the week's topic. Read and learn......

Blinded by his big brown eyes, bright smile & church boy ways. I knew what he was capable of, but his words got to me. He was very affectionate & loving, he listened to my problems. I was in a rough place in my life, and he was there when I had no one else. My mother didn't like me dating him, saying " The pastor took him in for a reason, something is wrong." But her words only pushed me to him even more. He loved me dangerously, literally. He never let me out his sight from day one. At first it was flattering, after a while it became scary, but I didn't know how to walk away from him, I couldn't because he needed me. He had been through so much in his life; from no father, mother on drugs, he definitely came with a lot of baggage, but the feeling that we both needed each other felt good. But ANY man with emotional baggage from his childhood is not a safe man. A few months went by, and he became extremely controlling & jealous. He made up rules that I had to follow:
Rule #1: no talking to any boys after 9 o'clock
Rule #2: no keeping in contact with an ex boyfriend
Rule #3: do what I say!
Rule #4,5,6.......
One night I slipped up and sent him a text after 9 o'clock saying "Goodnight Dorian"..........and Dorian is NOT his name. That night I received hell, I had never been talked to like that in my life, sad thing is that he had me feeling bad & apologizing like I did something wrong, like I had betrayed him. A few more months went by, and I slowly started to come to my senses, I tried to break up with him but he wouldn't let me leave. He called, begged & cried, but that was just the beginning, that's when shit got real. That one phone call changed my life. He called me one day after school, and he was shaking something in the phone to where I could here. He asked, " Do you hear that? It's a bottle of blue pills!!! If you leave me I swear ima take the whole bottle right now!!!" He threatened to come to my school the next morning and look for me, to go off on my mom who he felt was the reason for me leaving, he threatened to come to the game that night and fight who ever he had to. He called me a bitch and said I was trying to make him look stupid. I have never feared a person in my life, and I ONLY fear God, but that moment I was terrified of him and what he would do to me. I walked into the school the next morning constantly looking over my shoulder, running straight to my class. I was paranoid!! I decided to go to the counselor at my school & let them know he threatened to come to the school and find me. The quickly made a trespassing warrant so he can't come within so many feet of the school. But it didn't stop there, a few days later, I was in the car with a friend on our way home from school, we were at the stop light right outside of my school and I received a text..........Text: "I see you..." .........One of the first things he said to me when we first met was "I am CRAZY about you." He indeed was crazy. With that being said, when people show you who they are the first time, believe them. And remember Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. (1 Corinthians 13:4-7) Love should NEVER hurt, so don't let it.

--Imani

“The first time someone shows you who they are, believe them” Maya Angelou

Often time we linger in toxic relationships far too long, simply because we don’t want to accept the truth about who that person really is. We tell ourselves lies, make excuses and believe that we are so special that we can really change them! And so we stay for another round of hurt and heartbreak. And we pretend not to know the truth. We ignore the truth because, we don’t want to be lonely, we don’t want to be hurt and we just want to be loved. And therein lies the problem, because chances are, we are STILL lonely, we are ALREADY hurt and we are definitely NOT being loved!  So why not just face the truth?

If he cheats once he will do it again, he is NOT a FAITHFUL man.
If he hits you, he is ABUSIVE.
If he calls you names, he is DISRESPECTFUL.
If it’s always all about him, he is SELFISH!
If he doesn’t care about your feelings, he is INSENSITIVE!

The bottom line is, you can choose to stay, hoping and praying he will change OR decide the FIRST time that you really are not interested in an unfaithful, abusive, disrespectful, selfish, insensitive man. Exercise your power to leave, with your dignity, feelings and heart intact, saving it for that someone special who knows how to treat you like the jewel you truly are!! The Bible says when a Man finds a Mate (wife) He finds a good thing. So you know what that means?  YOU ARE THE PRIZE!

PS!!! Just for the record, this same situation can be the other way around, just change he to she! I have seen some of the ladies take total advantage of a good man!

Lessons From the Lioness!

The No Go List!!

                                                       




-If you been dating your guy for three weeks now and all he wants to do is come over and NEVER offers to take you out, he just wants to hunch ladies…he’s a no go!
-When your guy says his car is in the shop and three months later he’s saying the same shit, nine times out of ten ladies there is NO CAR! You will be the primary chauffer; picking and dropping his ass off everywhere…he’s a no go!
-When your guy says,  “you remind me of a girl I once knew” he’s a no go!
-When your guy refers to women as “bitches” and “hoes” he’s a no go!
-When your guy is ALWAYS on facebook, ladies he’s a no go! You want a man to be able to tell you how he feels to your face, not to the whole world through a damn status!
-If your guy’s car is filled with suitcases and duffle bags ALL THE TIME, he’s not a “frequent traveler”, he’s a house hopper ladies! Your house is one of the many houses he stays at. He has NO PLACE! Therefore he’s a no go!
-When your guy has dumb ass tattoos like money signs, tear drops, or ice cream cones, trust me its not what you want ladies, he’s a no go!
-If your guy gets money on Friday and it’s gone by Wednesday…he’s a broke ass and he doesn’t know how to manage his money, he’s a no go ladies!
-If a man doesn’t want to hold your hand in public he’s a no go!
- When you go out with your guy and you think he’s looking at every girl on the block HE IS LADIES! He’s a no go!







---Lioness in Training

When People Show You Who They Are, Believe Them--Maya Angelou

One of my favorite movies as a child was the Wizard of Oz. At the time the Tin Man was my favorite character, not only was being silver cool but he actually rusted when he cried!  As an adult, I envy the fact that he has no heart and thus no feelings! Now that sounds like a good plan to me since I always seem to get blindsided by my feelings and allow my emotions to cloud my judgment. When it comes to love, I find myself making excuses, ignoring warning signs and going full speed ahead.  I keep singing the same ole song, “I Just Don’t Wanna Be Lonely.” And so I pretend not to know and tell myself some more lies. After all I don’t have to look at something   that’s not even there.
I become very comfortable with my ignorance and bury my head in the sand hoping that somehow magically things will change and I will wake up like sleeping beauty and live happily ever after. Eventually the battle between my heart and mind becomes quite violent, and the pain of staying is greater than the pain of leaving. After much heartache and many tears, I have to face the fact that he is who he said he was the first time. The first time he stood me up. The first time he cheated. The first time he called me cruel names. The first time he made me feel that I wasn’t valued and the first time he decided that I wasn’t enough.

--Lioness In Waiting

What Would You Do Friday

He was there for me during the time I needed someone the most. I had just gotten out of a crazy relationship and I wanted someone to take my mind off of it all. He was thoughtful, compassionate and romantic. Just what I needed after all the HELL I had been through. I had only been single for a week, but who cares, he was perfect. He was what God sent to me. It didn’t matter that I had felt the same way about the guy before him.  I was hurt and anxious to move on. (Next!)  He took me shopping. Had flowers delivered to my job, took me on trips and spoiled me rotten. I wasn’t too concerned about the fact that he moved from job to job, because he always made me feel special. After six months and four jobs, I was a little apprehensive BUT, he came home every night, he wasn’t ALWAYS hanging out with his boys and he answered all my calls.  He did get a lot of unknown phone calls, which he didn’t answer in front of me.  (but hey, he was just trying to be polite).

A year into the relationship we were still on the honeymoon. His phone ranged while he was in the shower and he told me to answer it (even more confirmation that he was perfect!) I answered it and it was his mother. She was furious! After learning he was in the shower, she very bluntly told me I needed to run like hell. For the next five minutes she proceeded to tell me how he had taken out $40,000 worth of student loans in her name (without her permission), stole her credit card and his landlord was threatening to put him out because he was six months behind on his rent! Just as she was hanging up, he walked into the room, smiling and smelling so good…

                                                               WHAT WOULD YOU DO??

 Please post all comments below. Your feedback and support is greatly appreciated. SN: Fellas please put your self in the situation. We would love some male perspectives.

LIfe in Five Chapters by Portia Nelson

Chapter I

I walk down the street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk
I fall in.
I am lost ... I am helpless.
It isn't my fault.
It takes forever to find a way out.

Chapter II

I walk down the same street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I pretend I don't see it.
I fall in again.
I can't believe I am in the same place.
But, it isn't my fault.
It still takes a long time to get out.

Chapter III

I walk down the same street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I see it is there.
I still fall in ... it's a habit ... but,
my eyes are open.
I know where I am.
It is my fault.
I get out immediately.

Chapter IV

I walk down the same street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I walk around it.

Chapter V

I walk down another street.