Thursday, June 30, 2011

A Story From The Pages of Our Lives--By: "Lola"

 This is a testimony from one of our loyal readers. She asked me to post this as apart of he delivery. Please leave words of encouragement and love! Thanks for the support!

I will never forget the day. It was Fatherʼs Day weekend and I was still grieving the loss
of my parents, but was hiding behind the pretense of being helper/savior to my best
Friend and God Daughters, who had suffered their own tragic loss. Feeling lonely and
trying to find my way in life as a 24 year old. My friend was newly engaged and the girls
seemed to be doing much better. So here I was feeling down and depressed because it
was Fatherʼs Day weekend AND my birthday, I had nothing to do and no one to
celebrate with. Every one was busy or just didnʼt take birthdays as seriously as I did at
the time. So I decided to take a drive to clear my head and ending up at the Rainbow
City Flea Market. A place for trendy fashions accessories, local hood delicacies and
vultures preying on young ladies with kind hearts. Excited that I had found my favorite
hair care products,vI was walking out the door with a big smile on my face and then I
heard a voice. “Come here sexy! Over here Mami!” (red flag!) I looked up to see this
fine guy decked out in baggy jeans, gold chain and head scarf (red flag!) I really wanted
the attention so I ignored the warning signs and turned around. He looked like the
typical bad boy and modern day thug. Definitely not the type interested in a shy, chubby
bookworm. I decided to throw caution to the wind and live in the moment for a change. I
was tired of following all the rules, doing the right things and being Ms. Goody Two
Shoes. By the time I left he had my phone number, home address and my permission
to stop by so we could get to know each other a little better. I was so flattered when I
learned he was a former NFL football star and we would spend hours talking about all
his game highlights, his close friendship with local celebrities and national rap stars.
Before I knew it, I was hanging out at all the local hotspots and rubbing elbows with his
celebrity friends.I found myself staying out all night, dressing and acting out of
character, missing and calling in late for work. I was in total awe of my new lifestyle.
Never mind that all of his great moments was in the past and he was essentially
unemployed. I mean after all he was working on a “major record deal”. Forget the fact
that after a few weeks, more and more bags started showing up at my apartment and
he was practically staying over every night. Although I was enjoying every minute of it,
deep down inside I knew something wasnʼt right, I felt powerless and spellbound. Before
long tragedy struck. My God daughter told me he tried to kiss her! Of course he denied
it and said she had a crush on it. But I knew better! I was pissed and I came to my
senses and accepted the fact that he was a user, liar, a cheater and a worthless
asshole looking for the easy way out, living off of his glory days and failed attempts at
the NFL. I broke it off and after a couple of months I was finally beginning to feel like
my old self. One night I was sitting at my computer writing and I heard a tap on my glass
sliding door. I looked up and there he was smiling and asking me if we could we talk. I
told him there was nothing to talk about, but he starting getting loud. Against my better
judgement, I let him in because I didnʼt want him to cause a scene. He closed the blinds
and threw me on the floor. He pinned me down and began to violently rape me!! Saying
and doing the most horrible and degrading things to me. It was the most terrifying
experience of my life and until today I have never shared it with anyone except my
husband. I kept it a secret out of shame and humiliation. I told myself I deserved it
because I knew better and because of the horrible attempt he made to my loved one. I
felt like no one would believe me or even care for that matter. I wanted to die, because
although I knew he was trouble from the beginning, I chose to live in the moment. For
five years it has been this deep dark secret that I have kept inside myself. Today I
chose to be free! I am no longer willing to be a hostage to a wrong that is not mine.
God has been so good to me!! Mine is a story of survival, healing and redemption.
Thanks to Godʼs Grace and Mercy I am now in a happy and healthy relationship. Please
donʼt make the same mistakes I did. Trust your instincts and the God in you.
Sometimes we have to follow our head instead of our heart. Giving your power and
yourself to unworthy people is not worth the heartache and anguish you will suffer.
When I think about the fact that my God daughter could have been hurt, it tears me up
inside. Trust God, He will send you everything and the one you need in HIS time.

1 comment:

  1. WOW! Unfortunately this is probably not a unique story! Kudos to you for sharing and Thank God for God! There is nothing to hard for him to do and nothing too hard for us to overcome through Him!