Wednesday, June 15, 2011

Lesson from the Lioness

“Three things will last forever—faith, hope, and love—and the greatest of these is love.” (1 Corinthians 13:13. NLT)

As the mother of four daughters, I have watched every one of them struggle in relationships and flounder in pursuit of love. (Not to mention my own disasters over the years). As a result, experiencing emotional, mental and regrettably, even physical abuse.  In almost every situation I could have told them exactly how the story was going to end.  Of course neither one of them were willing to listen at the time, so I had to stand by helpless as they willingly walked off the cliff.  I can’t begin to explain the heartache a Mother feels when her child is in pain, even if it is self-inflicted.  Although I realize that some lessons must be learned independently, I really believe that there are some things that could have been learned in the “den” to prepare them for this massive undertaking.

I find it ironic that of all the things that God gave us, He says “love is the greatest.”   Yet it is the one thing we struggle the most with.  Even in the Garden of Eden, literally Paradise, with only two people present, humankind still managed to distort it. Granted love is very complex and you can’t really teach someone to love, BUT, can’t we teach some basic fundamentals and principles about love?  For example my Mother taught me how to cook and clean, iron clothes and sew on a button. My teachers taught me how to read and write and be organized.  But no one taught me;

1   That it is impossible to love anyone else until you learn to love yourself. (Because when you really love yourself you will accept nothing less than love from someone else.)

2. How to recognize my own worth and power and no matter what, you should never GIVE your power to someone else. (If you do you are only setting yourself up to be a victim)

3. Never give someone else the responsibility of making you happy (People are not perfect, they are bond to disappoint and/or hurt you sooner or later).  Your happiness is your own responsibility.

4. Don’t LINGER, when people show you who they are believe them the first time (Thanks Maya Angelou) don’t hang around waiting for them to change because they will NOT.

5. That no one can hurt you without your Permission. (Thanks Gandhi!)

Imagine how much heartbreak and pain I could have avoided if I walked away the first time someone was reckless with my heart, if I knew that it was ok for me to love myself more that I loved “him”,  if I took responsibility for my own happiness instead of waiting around for “him” to dazzle/disappoint me, if I used my power to live my dreams and do what was best for me, if I knew that I was more valuable than diamonds or pearls and if I simply decided that  nope, sorry you DON”T have my permission to break my heart, disrespect or control me!  Deuces!

--The Lioness


  1. I'm proud to call you and your lionesses my cousins!

  2. Truly cuz, that was a valuable lesson learned. I can relate to some of the things you've talked about here, talking about hitting home. Ok!...Knock knock, I've answered the door here. But,like you too cuz, I've learned the value of loving God, then truly loving myself!...Thanks, you ere on point!