Monday, June 27, 2011
No One Man Can Have All My Power
“The most common way people give up their power is by thinking they donʼt have any.” Alice Walker
It was a beautiful day and I was looking forward to just relaxing and getting some much needed rest and then out of the blue the phone rings and one conversation changed everything. I hung up and all of a sudden it hit me that once again I had let him steal my joy and my peace. We have all met that someone special where just the sound of his voice, his presence or a gesture makes you weak. I am sure it is not a unique story; you meet someone, fall in love and make him or her the center of your universe. Before you know it you realize that you have willingly gift-wrapped all your power and dignity into a lovely package and handed it over to someone else. In an ideal world, he loves you back and values you and your trust and handles it with tender loving care. Unfortunately that is not my story and my experience. I had to learn the hard way that most people canʼt handle that much power and ultimately I was trying to take the easy way out. If I gave them my power then that means I don’t have to be responsible for anything. My happiness and my well-being becomes someone else responsibility and all I have to do is wait on them to make it happen.
The journey to owing my own power and taking responsibility for my own happiness has been a painful one, It is a trail littered with lies, deception, denial and bloody hearts (both mine and others). My unwillingness to take responsibility for my happiness have led me to some abusive, controlling and even dangerous situations. Unfortunately as much as I would love to blame my disappointment and suffering on someone else, it is ultimately my responsibility. In order for me to take possession of my power, I have had to face some brutal truths. The most difficult being that I am responsible for my own happiness. DAMN, why canʼt
someone else do it? The truth is we canʼt experience true happiness until we are happy with ourselves. I have had to accept the fact that no one else can solve my problems for me. It is my responsibility to deal with and work my way through my own stuff. In order for me to own my power, I have had to be honest about the fact that although there may be situations in which I am powerless (I canʼt control other people thoughts, actions or behavior). BUT I am not trapped in any situation. I have the right to remove myself from any situation I am unhappy with. I DO NOT have to stay anywhere I am unhappy. I am NOT helpless. And I have the right to take care of MYSELF in any circumstance with any person. I have the right to do what is BEST for me!!
--Lioness in Waiting