Wednesday, June 29, 2011

“Our Power is in our ability to decide.” Jill Welsh

I remember the first time I fell in love. That excitement and anticipation, every thought
consumed with him, even in my dreams. At the time I was seventeen, idealistic,
optimistic and totally vulnerable. Willing to make any sacrifice, sleep, school, friendships
and my motherʼs disapproval, just to make him smile. At the time I though he was
Romeo and I was Juliet. So I willingly gave him my power and I believed everything he
said about me. It was if I didnʼt even exist prior to knowing him. I became a chameleon,
changing in an instant ready to satisfy his every whim. I now realize it was a recipe for
disaster. And of course I got my heart broken, my spirit crushed and it changed me
forever. It stole my innocence, my softness, my belief in fairytales and my willingness to
ever love with that much abandon. In retrospect, I now know that I was as much to
blame if not more than he was. It was unfair of me to allow someone else to have that
much power over me and expect him to be able to nurture and care for it. After all he
was only human, flawed and imperfect, just as I was. The blame is mine for not realizing
how valuable I really was. For not setting the standard for how I wanted to be treated
and for not drawing the line in the sand. When things didnʼt work out I thought I was
going to die.. but of course I lived. I emerged stronger, wiser and independent. I vowed
to never allow anyone else to treat me badly, take my feelings for granted and having
control over me. It took that heartbreak to teach me how to set the standard, define my
morals and own my power. That heartbreak taught me that I had a voice and no one
else no matter how much they say they love you is going to take care of me better than
me. I learned that it was up to me to determine my worth. It doesnʼt matter how cute,fine, popular or rich he is. The bottom line is if he doesnʼt value you or respect you he is not going to be capable of loving you. And as quiet as itʼs kept, love is not enough!

--Lesson from a Lioness


  1. I think we've all been in that place. I learned from being there that as you get older, you are more able to detect sincerity. It's hard to do when you're young which is why our beautiful mothers try so hard to stop us. But we have to be we can learn, grow and move on. I learned that the ultimate love story begins with self. When that is in place we don't have to "demand" respect; it's understood.

  2. I love that! "The ultimate love story does begin with yourself"!!! Unfortunately it is a lesson that does not come easy but it is one that once learned is well learned!!!