One of my favorite movies as a child was the Wizard of Oz. At the time the Tin Man was my favorite character, not only was being silver cool but he actually rusted when he cried! As an adult, I envy the fact that he has no heart and thus no feelings! Now that sounds like a good plan to me since I always seem to get blindsided by my feelings and allow my emotions to cloud my judgment. When it comes to love, I find myself making excuses, ignoring warning signs and going full speed ahead. I keep singing the same ole song, “I Just Don’t Wanna Be Lonely.” And so I pretend not to know and tell myself some more lies. After all I don’t have to look at something that’s not even there.
I become very comfortable with my ignorance and bury my head in the sand hoping that somehow magically things will change and I will wake up like sleeping beauty and live happily ever after. Eventually the battle between my heart and mind becomes quite violent, and the pain of staying is greater than the pain of leaving. After much heartache and many tears, I have to face the fact that he is who he said he was the first time. The first time he stood me up. The first time he cheated. The first time he called me cruel names. The first time he made me feel that I wasn’t valued and the first time he decided that I wasn’t enough.
--Lioness In Waiting